1) A truck pulls up and un-loses a box.

RIMMER: There's a perfectly rational observation for all this.
TRUCK DRIVER: I'm going into town if you want a lift.

2) Café scene.

LADY: The service here is terrible.
RIMMER: Flobabdob blib blob bleeb.

3) Stealing a tandem bike.

MAN: Oi, you robbing bastards, that's our tandem! Hey! Hey!
[SUBTITLE: You scoundrels! Return my bike immediately.]

4) Asking for a lift.

LISTER; Excuse me.
MAN: Pardon?
LISTER: I don't speak any Bulgarian. D'you speak English?
MAN: Sorry, I'm English. Are you Bulgarians?
[SUBTITLE: Sorry, I'm English - are you Bulgarians.]
LISTER: We're looking for our friends. Err - friendski.
CAT: Our Buds-ski? Pals-ski?
LISTER: There's and address-ski here-ski. Can you, erm, drop us off-ski?
MAN: Sure, I know this pub. Hop in the back.
[SUBTITLE: Yes, I know this pub. Hop in.]

5) The pub emcee.

COMPERE: Ladies and gentlemen, take your hands apart and give a big warm goodbye to the sensational Reverse Brothers.
[SUBTITLE: Take your hands apart and give a big warm goodbye to the sensational Reverse Brothers.]

6) Dressing room scene.

MANAGER: You are a stupid, square-headed, bald git, aren't you, eh? I'm pointing at you, but I'm not actually addressing you. I'm addressing the one prat in the country who's bothered to get this recording, turn it around, and actually work out the rubbish I'm saying. What a poor sad life he's got!
KRYTEN: We're fired. Something about a fight.
MANAGER: Exactly. Your act's crap anyway. Anybody could have done it. I hate the lot of you. Bollocks to you!

7) Eating in the pub.

MAN: You bloody bastards.
CAT: What's the matter with him?
MAN: You've just unscoffed my sodding pie!